GO'AULD SONGBOOK

Singers: Apophis and Klorel and the little snake-tattooed Jaffa choral choir

***************

SPIN THE GATE
Written by Spacemonkey_AMN AKA Chupivore
Performed by Apophis and Klorel and the LSTJCC


Flying through the sky, in a Goa'uld glider,
Over Tau'ris we pass, shooting all the way;
Firing playfully, making zatguns spark,
What fun it is to set aglow the abydonian sky. KREE!

CHORUS [choir]
Spin the gate, spin the gate, spin it all the way!
O what fun it is to look at the Stargate come to life. KREE!
Spin the gate, spin the gate, spin it all the way!
Take your zat and take your staff and take over the system.

Few millennia ago, we'd thought we'd take the world
And soon the universe was kneeling before us;
We went searching for slaves, we went searching for hosts;
Never having enough, we started picking on Tau'ris . KREE!

(chorus)

[Klorel solo]
A year or two ago, the story we must hide
I went attack Tau'ri, on SG1 I fell.
Daddy was riding by, in his Goa'uld spaceship;
He growled as there I lamely cried and Jack blew our spaceships. KREE!

(Chorus)

**********************

Now can you guys guess what filk it is???
 
Jack stole a kiss from Hammond... (W of Op fanfic...)

First flik in ages. Hope it ain’t bad, I tried to stick to the original as much as poss agin. Savage Garden’s Affirmation, just in case you were wondrin’…

Daniel’s credo~

I believe the sun would never set upon some strange planets
I believe we’ll find new places to get lost in some foreign land
I believe that MREs taste so bad because they are good for you
I believe that Hammond does the best job he knows how to do
I believe that Jack’s comments can promote low self-esteem
I believe that Apophis is loved completely by himself alone

I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love till they’ve been turned
I believe the sand is no more greener on the other side
I believe the best words in any tongue are ‘I love you, don’t say goodbye’

I believe Sam just rules when it comes to numeracy
I believe that Teal’c’s still slightly freaked by our TV
I believe in the host’s best features, their heart and soul
I believe family don’t change with any eyeliner or gold

I believe the struggle for religious freedom is not fair
I believe the only ones to disagree are those ‘gods’ up there

I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love till they’ve been turned
I believe the sand is no more greener on the other side
I believe the best words in any tongue are ‘I love you, don’t say goodbye’

I believe acceptance is the key to cultural happiness
I believe the military’s policies are just messed
I believe that God does not endorse Goa’uld evangelists
I believe I’ll not get paid before eternity!

I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can’t appreciate real love till they’ve been turned
I believe the sand is no more greener on the other side
I believe the best words in any tongue are ‘I love you, don’t say goodbye’

Haha… uh, too may early eps and the film there. Mmm, this is better than the Queen’s speech, not to be unpatriotic and the like…

Sci-fi16! Mail me all u likes! Soz bout the probs I'm havin...

Great guys! This ain't christmassy, but I got the album and... am now thinking out Goa'uld evangelists. Coming soon!

Merry Crimbo!
 
Hey, Skip! That was fun! Enjoyed reading it. Still trying to see Goa'uld evangilists with a straight face!
 
Cheers

Ever sat up when you had partaken of the sacred vine of Bacchus and listened to Savage Garden and wondered just *how* Apophis' servants could be kept in check in that alternate-alternate universe I call home? Well, I did... Not all fliking per se... but willu forgiv me?

***
A large Jaffa walks onstage wearing a glittering, guilt suit. He turns to face the giant broadcasting disk and as he does, it zooms in and the glittering tattoo makes a satisfying 'PING!' He tries to smile broadly, but only manages the broad part.

"Kel sha fools! I have great news from our Lord and master, Apophis."

This benevolent news is met with silence.

"Kree ungrateful mongrels! Clap for your God!"

More silence. At the Jaffa's gesture, a hoarde steps forward, holding staff-weapons menacingly.

"Eep!"

*KABOOM*

"Hooray. Hooray."

"Better. Your great and mighty God has decided to be benevolent with you. Not only has he not destroyed and smote every stinking one of you, he has decided to make the harvest fruitful and only asks for ninety percent of the yield."

Pregnant silence. Heavily pregnant and overdue silence. Silence that needs a caesarean section with an epidu- ah.

Tinned clapping and whooping of heavily drunk minions is played.

"Hathor! Hathor! Hat..."

The tape is summarily changed...

"Apophis! Apophis!"

This continues.

It goes on.

And on.

And on.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Remember, the Almighty Apophis and his Salvation Snake Army is a completely non-profit organisation. That is, you do not profit from it at all. Send all your 'donations' and tributes to this address. Press the keys on the device controlling your chapa'aai which correspond to G-O-A-U-L-D-Home. That is, Goa'uld-Home. Don't be stingy, remember, Apophis is watching and you will pay when the Offland Revenue bring you to the quarterly Judgement day. You *will* rot in hell so send your tribute in now and receive a free 'I serve the one true System Lord, so don't kill my children' sticker for the bumper of your horse or cart."

"Kel sha! And now we will sing the holy hymnal!"

Abba-Simbel,
Let us be,
You and our Goa'uld alone,
May your will forever be,
Evermore our own!
Never let, your eyes burn cold!
Never letting us go-o-o-o-o-o
Abba-Simbel,
Let us be,
Sons of Gods alone!

***
Is it blasphemy if I was held at staff-point to write it? Um, don't want to rot in hell, I'll have to put up with Maybourne...
Blame it on the rum. Oh yeah, was high on Skaara's Mooshine! Yes, I means 'MOO-shine'...
Mad cow! MAd cOw!
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
'S late now. 'S long as there's no more things to provoke me, I'll settle down to wondering 'bout life, the universe and everything... Or not.
Hah!
Night y'all.
 
Think it's pretty bad I'm here alone, you must all think I'm killing this thread...
OK, hands up who looked in their diary and saw 'Lots of time, in fact toooooooooooo much time' when it actually said 'no time, no time to breathe, no time to uggh-gahhh.....' THUD.
Me for one. Da- dash it all, now I looked here again, i got reminded of the fun I had.. and now I've written far too much. Well, i vowed to do all my faves and all the ones i had the words to... and this one... Mishy suggested this in the first ever post, but I hope you won't mind if I do it...
This is a brilliant song and an incredibly long one... so I apologise for the length... Dedicated to all you who are slightly older than me <eg> this is the full version, I hope I didn't miss any parts, but my lyric sheet skipped a few lines so i filled in all I know...
Think angry young snake wearing gilt, denim and shades (with shiny jewels on the sides, of course...)

***
Heru'ur's Jaffa-Cake Pie.
Or Sometimes It's Hard to be a Villain.

A long, long, time ago,
I can still remeber how those Tau'ri used to work in Dad's mines,
And I knew if I had my chance,
I could make those slaves dance,
And make me spaceships, double-time.
But one century made me shiver,
With every revolution 'gainst gods delivered,
Bad news on the baseship,
Another squadron dead,
And I knew I never cried,
When I heard about,
Dad's new bride,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day the Tau'ri lied.

Refrain:
So bye-bye Miss Jaffa-cake pie,
Drove my glider to get jaffa cider,
But the larder was dry,
And them good ole Primes were nursing broken legs and spines
Singin', 'This'll be the day SG-1 die,
This'll be the day that they DIE!'

Did you write the Book of Love?
My Uncle wrote the one of the Dead so I gave him a shove,
Cos my snake he told me so...
Do you believe in rock and roll?
It won't save your mortal soul,
Cos Goa'ulds only dance real slow...
Well I know that she's in love with him,
His eyes were glowing, rather dim,
And while he kicks off his shoes...
Man, I'll kill my Daddy, the fools!
I'm a lonely teenage System Lord buck,
~With my shining arm brace and a flying f~
With my shining arm brace and a pyramid truck(!)
And the rest of my family'll be outta luck,
When I've killed 'em then I'll jive...

Refrain.

Now for ten millennia we've been on our own,
And moss grows fat on the cover-stone,
But that's not how it used to be...
When the Skipster sang for the King and Queen,
And stole T-shirts for the team,
And a voice that came from you and me
Oh, while the King was looking down,
I just stole his gilded crown,
The mining will return,
My name no longer be spurned!
And while Hathor reads a book on sharks,
A quartet of sighing lads, dim sparks,
And my jaffa sing dirges in the dark,
You'll soon see SG-1 die!

Refrain.

Helter skelter! In a starlit swelter,
The bombs shoot off to hit their air-raid shelter,
Eight miles high they'll die real fast!
It landed foul, the wrong planet we passed,
And my baseship, a big shadow, it did cast,
Now the smell of blood is 'sweet' pefume,
While Tau'ri sergeants played a marching tune,
We all got up to dance,
And fired by second glance,
Cos my jaffa tried to take the field,
The SG band refused to yield,
Do you recall the traitor Teal'c?
Well, he and his friends will soon die...

Refrain.

Oh and there we all were in one place,
A generation toast in space,
With no time-loop left to start again,
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack I'll flash you with a staff-stick,
Cos fire and not water is the Goa'uld's only friend.
Oh and as you watch me on the stage,
My hands stay clenched in fists of rage,
No angel born in hell,
Could break my snakey spell,
And as the ships climb high into the night,
I'll say a sacrificial rite,
You'll see me laughing in delight,
The day unbelievers die!

Refrain.

I met a girl who ne'er wore blue,
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and with her numbers played,
I wanted to build a sacred store,
Like he ones from years before,
But the foreman said the slaves wouldn't without pay,
And in the streets the children screamed
The hosts cried and their eyes gleamed,
But not a word was spoken,
Till I said 'Kree!' and bells were broken,
The three guys they all hate the most,
Father, Son and Unholy Ghost,
They took the last train for Chulak coast,
The day, the rule died.

So bye-bye Miss Jaffa-cake pie,
Drove my glider to get jaffa cider,
But the larder was dry,
And them good ole Primes were nursing broken legs and spines
Singin', 'This'll be the day SG-1 die,
This'll be the day that they DIE!'
***

Geez, that was even longer than Dim and Shady! But a heck of a lot easier as the ryhmes are easier and the lyrics less offensive. Tasha and Alice are here with me, shooting me and demanding that I let them play on paint so I can't chat no more. Later guys!
 
Loved American Pie and this version, also. Was a lot easier to hum along in song than to rap Dim and Shady. Both are good! Thanks, Skip for a good trip down memory lane!

2 days before Christmas inside the SGC,
Teal'c sang carols, after
Jack stole a kiss, after
Jacob spiked the punch, after
Jack received new pings!!!. after
Siler mistletoed the doors, after
Janet decked the halls, after
Teal'c dressed the tree, after
Daniel strung some popcorn,after
Jack hung lights, after
Hammond bought a Christmas tree.



[Edited by jsc on 12-29-2000 at 02:33 PM]
 
Originally posted by Skip
Think it's pretty bad I'm here alone, you must all think I'm killing this thread...

... and this one... Mishy suggested this in the first ever post, but I hope you won't mind if I do it...
Click to expand...

Mind! Of course not, I'm really impressed with your version on Amaroca Pie. And it's been proved that the only thing that can kill a thread is if you stop posting so keep 'em coming.

Sorry for the lack of additions to this thread by me recently but I've kinda lost my muse, was hoping to get a new one for christmas but got choccies and booze instead (damn shame, heh heh).
 
Muses get stepped on by Christmas and kids and hubbies and parties! Don't worryshe will comeback when things get back to normal!
 
*Blushes* why thankyou!
Just for y'all's delight n delectation or drunken singing:

Jsc, glad you liked it. It is a brill song and Madonna didn’t really do tribute to it properly.
Chevron8, loved the ‘Gate!
Lexicon, great work and aloha!
Sci-fi16, join in, we won’t bite… much! ;-)
A tribute to everyone’s favourite (well, Val and Texy’s…) sun-boy. He was getting left out, what with my Apophis fixation…
I’m hoping you know this, Sc-fi16 prob has and Cap’t, if you’re here… but I don’t know about y’all over the pond. FYI, the Beatle’s ‘Yellow Submarine.’
Ahah, YKYWTMSG when… you listen to the top 500 songs of all time and decide you want to filk em all…

In the land where Ra was born,
Was plenty o’ sand and not much sea.
And he lived ‘n opulent life,
Filled with gold that wouldn’t turn green,
Until one day, the god of sun,
Found the guys from, th’ SGC.
And instead of friendly waves, his eyes took on a yellow sheen.

He didn’t like our blokes from SGC,
Blokes from SGC,
Blokes from SGC.
So his eyes took a deadly sheen,
Eyes a deadly sheen,
Eyes a deadly sheen.

And his friends, were all aboard,
So we sent naquadah, with C4,
As the gate, begins to sway…

We sent a bomb and Ra went Kablooie,
Ra went kablooie,
Ra went kablooie.
And as he died, no doubt he shouted ‘KREE!’
No doubt he shouted ‘KREE!’
No doubt he shouted ‘KREE!’

We don’t lead a life of ease,
Though the Tok’ra have all we need,
Gate so huge, with no DHD,
Those brave folks at the SGC.

We all live inside the SGC,
Inside the SGC,
Inside the SGC.
Homes to go to? Oh, not we!
No homes to go to we,
No homes to go to we.

Come and join in the jolly family,
Jolly family,
Jolly family.
There are loads more snakes for you to kick, hehe!
Snakes to kick, hehe!
Snakes to kick, hehe!

I spanku ver much. Don’t ask what fuelled this, it is much better that you don’t know… then it can’t hurt you… That was actually fun… probably cos the lines are easy, you write one, you get two more free!
Later guys…
 
Good start for the New Year, Skipp and Love that "BOB"!
 
JSC! Bob sez Hi… Did I sing it to you? Ahahaha, he’s got a commission on baseships already…

Here we go, you should all recognise this, Bon Jovi fans or not. I hope. May not all be there (like me…) but I do me lil ole best… Livin on a Prayer.

Danny used to work with his rocks,
Then Apophis strikes and he’s forced to jump on the truck,
Mmm, it’s tough.
Sam she used to play with numbers all day,
Working with the men, she gates and sleeps in mud.
Mmm, it’s rough.

She says we gotta gate home with what we’ve got,
Never even knowing if we’ll make it or not,
We’ve got each other, who in SG-1 were shoved,
We’ll be there in a shot!
Oooh, we’re halfway there,
Ooh-oh, gating on a prayer,
Oooh, we’re halfway there,
Ooh-oh gating on a prayer.

Jack, he left his job to go hide,
Now he’s holding back when he used to joke and talk,
Mmm, it’s tough.
Teal’c, he left his to family shame,
To fight for freedom was his only aim,
Mmm, it’s rough.

He says we gotta gate home with what we’ve got,
One day or another we’re gonna get shot,
We’re there for each other, our team’s been through a lot,
Even in hell to rot!
Oooh, someday we’ll get there,
Ooh-oh, gating on a prayer,
Oooh, life’s not fair,
Ooh-oh, gating on a prayer.

Wow, I did that one from memory, which is saying something for me!
Hey, my muses are ripping me off, while I drink, they get high and I don’t! How cheeky! I shall have to get DP&B to shout at em…

Seey’all.
Jsc, can we drag Peachy over? And where’s Texy?
 
Wahey, another gem from Skip, lol
Hmmmm, I wonder, McGyver and Jon Bon Jovi, seperated at birth? Who can say, maybe it's the hair
 
Hi Skip, Pandemonium, Dis, and Bob the baseship builder!
Loved the song... but Macguyver and Bon Jovi seperated at birth! LOLLOL!
 
Originally posted by jsc
Muses get stepped on by Christmas and kids and hubbies and parties! Don't worryshe will comeback when things get back to normal!
Click to expand...

Thanks Jsc, you were right, the muse is back:

"All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow
----------
This ain't no Chulak, and it ain't no pushover Planet either, this is the SGC..
"All I wanna do is kill a little snake before I die" says the man next to me outta nowhere "It's Apophis " he mutters.
He says his name is Daniel, I'm sure he's Dan or Danny or Mac or Buddy, and he's plain gorgeous to me and I wonder if he's ever liked snakes in his whole life

And we are drinking the blood of sokar (wahey) at noon on Tuesday, in a room that faces a giant Stargate.
The good people of the SGC are cleaning their guns on their downtime, hoping and praying the Asgard come and help us soon.
They take their shiny zatguns and MP15's back through the Stargate and Janet goes too
Well they're just like Danny and me 'cos

All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeeling we're not the only ones
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeling Hammond would love to come
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
Until the sun goes down behind Cheyenne Mountain Facility

Teal'c likes his caffeine buzz early in the morning, Jack likes to scoop the oatmeal from his bowl and flick it at Sam, she wipes it from her shirt while he recites every word from some unknown language, letting each one sound more cruvus than the last before yelling and cursing it all, and he's watching Sam as she plants his oatmeal on his head

The lights from the gate illuminate the room, dangerous excitement fills the air, and Teal'c looks up from his coffeecup and

All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeling we're not the only ones
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeling Hammond would love to come
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
Until the sun goes down behind Cheyenne Mountain Facility

Otherwise the room is ours, the day and the night and the Stargate too, the Tok'ra and the Asgard and the many and wonderful worlds, the sun and the moon, yet

All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta a feeling we're not the only ones
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeling Hammond would love to come
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I gotta feeling our this time we're gonna win
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
I'd better tell ya that we're gonna nuke someone
All we wanna do is kill some Goa'uld
Until the sun goes down behind Cheyenne Mountain Facility
Until the sun goes down behind Cheyenne Mountain Facility

Fin
--------------
I hope Coffeecup takes note that I managed to get "Teal'c" and "coffeecup" in the same line heh heh
 
Great, I am no longer alone.
;) ;) ;)
Good job. Am trying to do some more, but pantos cropped up agin in my head and Carrie was willing so it all went... bluh.
 
ROFLMAO!

Ahah! I looove all the songs...'specially the uhhh Bohemian Rhaposdy parody...hee! :lol
 
Coffeecup, Teal'c and the Muse!

Loved it Mishkaz! Knew the muse would be back when the little ones and husband and Christmas super rush was over!
Been there! You have my sympathy! My kid has made it to Sat. Night and he isn't dead yet! Ijust gotta hang on and yu hang in there andkeep writing.

Coffeecup should be pleased!
 
Thanks, Nariko. welcome!

Y’all know I’ll filk anything if I get chance (and sometimes when I don’t…) but I shall have to retire for a fortnight, or until further notice. Mishy, I love what you’ve done. Hello to the new bods. Welcome to the Asylum. Don’t have too much fun or the nurse will bring some drugs (pills always help, that’s what they’re for…).
Just to see if ya want another group (bad) singing session…

My Aunt Went To Paris.

Jack went to PX-923,
And what did he buy?
He bought me a gun that bangs like this.

Danny went to PX-923,
And what did he buy?
He bought me a book you read like this,
And a gun that bangs like this…

??? went to PX-923…

jsc, Mishy, Nariko and NEone else, ya gonna run with it? Or have I gone into the deep end of the Unas tank, even for here?

Later, Dim Shady.
 
Thankyou all for your kind words, I'm speechless, first I'd like the thank my Agent, and my producer without whom this project would never have become a reality and special thanks to my long suffering husband whose tv viewing was interupted by me playing the same sections of "all I wanna do" on the stereo over and over to get the words to fit, and of course, my fans who continue to inspire me with their words of encouragement and finally my cat, for sitting in front of me and staring at me for no apparent reason... sniff....sob....(is this Tom Hanks enough yet?)
It's all Skips fault you know, if she wouldn't keep posting such excellent filks I could've ignored this thread and gotten on with my life.... ah yes, now I recall, I don't have one.

My Aunt Went To Paris.

Jack went to PX-923,
And what did he buy?
He bought me a gun that bangs like this.

Danny went to PX-923,
And what did he buy?
He bought me a book you read like this,
And a gun that bangs like this…

Teal'c went to PX-923,
And what did he buy?
He bought me a staff weapon you shoot like this,
And a book you read like this,
And a gun that bangs like this...

(hope I got that right, I'm not familiar with this rhyme)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
T Favourite go'auld? Stargate Discussions 22
Asmiley Lotr Songbook JRR Tolkien 20
K GO'AULD In Love? Stargate Discussions 14

Similar threads


Back
Top