World Fantasy convention 2013

Gary Compton said:
I think you'll look great whatever you wear, Anne:)
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I know you were just trying to be polite, but I wasn't seeking reassurance/approval so your comment comes across as condescending (and maybe just a touch creepy). I know, I know - tone of voice is so hard to get right online - but it's a hot topic in fandom right now. Since we're talking about appropriate dress and behaviour at conventions, I felt I had to raise the issue.
 
Anne Lyle said:
I know you were just trying to be polite, but I wasn't seeking reassurance/approval so your comment comes across as condescending (and maybe just a touch creepy). I know, I know - tone of voice is so hard to get right online - but it's a hot topic in fandom right now. Since we're talking about appropriate dress and behaviour at conventions, I felt I had to raise the issue.
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You're right I was being polite. I haven't read your books so I cant be classed as a fan, I'm afraid.

The discussion seemed to be light hearted and my reply was in no way creepy, stalkerish or inappropriate IMO.

As for conventions - I haven't been to one so have never behaved appropriately or inappropriately.
 
Anne Lyle said:
I know you were just trying to be polite, but I wasn't seeking reassurance/approval so your comment comes across as condescending (and maybe just a touch creepy). I know, I know - tone of voice is so hard to get right online - but it's a hot topic in fandom right now. Since we're talking about appropriate dress and behaviour at conventions, I felt I had to raise the issue.
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Gary did an Obama? :)
 
bluenimbus said:
the tension in this thread is unbearable
*leaves without further ado*
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Nah, don't worry, come back. :) It'll pass over.

I think, maybe, other sites are a little more fixated on writers and what not than the Chrons, which is something more of a community than a fan base. For what it's worth, I didn't find Gary's comment inappropriate in the context of the chrons. But I can see that having something like that said in a different forum, or in one focused on a single person, it could be uncomfortable.
 
I said:
Gary did an Obama? :)
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Do you mean I was very diplomatic in my reply, Brian?

springs said:
I didn't find Gary's comment inappropriate in the context of the chrons. But I can see that having something like that said in a different forum, or in one focused on a single person, it could be uncomfortable.
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I'm a happily married man of over 30 years standing. If I wanted to chat up the opposite sex or even the same sex (Alc:cool:) I would not do it here.

At 54 if you asked me if I wanted a wild night of sex with Paris Hilton or a bacon sandwich - I would say stick some mushrooms in and a little brown sauce. (The sandwich I mean:) ) In other words I'm past it!

Anyway if I upset Anne I apologise unreservedly. I am trying to follow Brian's lead of being nicer so it didn't start very well, did it?:mad:

Back to reading, "How to win friends and influence people."
 
I have to agree about Paris Hilton.

Can we talk about stickers/badges again?
 
*pokes head around door and sidles in*
i agree Hex (about the stickers, of course)
 
Gary Compton said:
Anyway if I upset Anne I apologise unreservedly. I am trying to follow Brian's lead of being nicer so it didn't start very well, did it?:mad:
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You didn't upset me. I just found it a little bit irksome that a complete stranger would feel the need to flatter me on my (unknown) appearance, particularly uninvited. If I'd been expressing uncertainty as to what to wear, it might have come across as friendly reassurance, but instead it felt like a very backhanded compliment when all I'd done was state what I usually wear. Perhaps if you re-read what I wrote as well as your answer, you might get my drift :)

Anyway, enough of this - I hadn't meant to derail the discussion!
 
Anne Lyle said:
You didn't upset me. I just found it a little bit irksome that a complete stranger would feel the need to flatter me on my (unknown) appearance, particularly uninvited. If I'd been expressing uncertainty as to what to wear, it might have come across as friendly reassurance, but instead it felt like a very backhanded compliment when all I'd done was state what I usually wear. Perhaps if you re-read what I wrote as well as your answer, you might get my drift :)

Anyway, enough of this - I hadn't meant to derail the discussion!
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Let me get this in perspective. You appear to be one of my 154 internet friends and I said, "I think you'll look great whatever you wear, Anne."

I'm now subjected to your vitriolic responses with talk of backhanded compliments. I tried to diffuse the situation with my apology earlier but that doesn't seemed to have worked. Did you have a Rotweiller for breakfast?

I'm just glad I didn't say your hair looked nice.

Kind regards Gary.:)
 
There's a lot of talk about the issue after the recent Obama compliment:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22050548

There was a link I had earlier going into it in more detail, but I'm afraid I can't find it.

I think it's better to put this one down to miscommunication all round. :)
 
I agree with you Brian so my lips are now sealed.:)

I thought you were comparing me to Obama - oh well back to finishing school!

By the way your hair looks nice here:)
 
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